by Jessica C Andrews


Let me be frank. There are women who count oral sex as one of their favorite pastimes. Call it an oral fixation or voracious appetite but these ladies relish in the idea of pleasuring their man until he breaks down under the heat of their sexual prowess.

But for many black women, their relationship to oral sex isn’t nearly as pleasureful and free. Growing up in a culture that degrades the act with names like “chickenhead” and the like, some women find it hard to shake the stigma that comes with what should be a routine part of sex.

As a teenager, I learned that a woman that performed oral sex was a whore who “got her knees dirty” and had no respect for herself. I heard this from men and women.

Sure there are exceptions, I assume, for women who are in a relationship and not pleasuring every man they see. But as is the case with most stereotypes demeaning women, people only focus on the most negative scenarios (girls who give head to every man walking) while not even mentioning the cases (like in a relationship) where it is acceptable and even ideal to please your man.

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