Dating A Bi- Guy (podcast episode)
You know, as a sex coach, I find that many clients in therapy, if they really look hard enough, turn out to be able to find out what they really want. They come because they find a way to come to terms with being honest. So even if you feel like you’re not ready to come out about being bisexual or bi curious or being gay, If you feel like you need someone to talk to about your sexual desires, your sexual feelings, and you’re worried about being judged I’m are for you.
You know, at the end of the day, you want to be able to confront your true self and not just for that for that moment, not just for that temporary moment, but you want to be able to confront your true self at all times, know. You want to be able say that, hey, these are my erotic desires, these are my erotic fantasies, and this is how I want to be able to live my life on my terms. I guess these conversations are not for the faint of heart. I get messages from fan mail (firstname.lastname@example.org), acquaintances and people who see me here and there. I get stuff all the time and I do try to get to all of it as much as possible, I do my best to try to make time for everything because you guys, are important to me.
I received a message from a guy asking, would I date a bisexual male? I’m not going to lie to you guys, you know I like to be honest, my instant reaction was like no, I would not because I like manly men. That was like my instant, instant, reaction, but I would totally hook up with a bisexual guy with no problem because I would do some nasty, kinky shit. After thinking about it, I was like damn that’s really fucked up that I have that type of double standard, you know. I would fuck this person but I won’t date this them. If someone approached me like that was like, Nadine, I would fuck you, but I would never date a woman like you.
I would be so fucking offended, like, fuck you, bitch!
So how the hell am I being any different? You know, so it reminded me of this guy who I actually did date who turned out to be bisexual and I honestly did not care once I found out. Maybe that’s why some men are not so honest about coming out the closet about being bisexual or being gay. Once you come out that closet, you’re hit with a bunch of judgment and opinions by people. I hate to say it, but they want to fix you somehow as if you’re broken by being your most honest version of yourself. What can I say about that? I would be furious if someone came to me and told me I had no right to be the best version of myself. I’ve never came out of the closet to my family as a bisexual woman and at the same time, I never felt like I had to either.
I never gone to my parents and said, sit down we need to have a conversation and it was like this big emotional thing but I don’t feel like I’ve ever hidden it.
That one question had me questioning so much about my truth and who I am and where I stand as a black bisexual woman, why should I judge somebody Because of who they choose to sleep with.