Swingers seem to have a language all of their own. They use terms that are common to them, but these terms leave others standing there scratching their heads. Terms as common to swingers as lifestyle or vanilla, can leave newbies or outsiders wondering what or who swingers are talking about.

Although swingers are aware that there are many terms we use to describe all things swing, there are many terms that even most swingers probably do not recognize. Thankfully, we have google and Siri to help us navigate and learn about things with the click of a button or the sound of our voice. Imagine how difficult things must have been for couples in the past, when they really had no way of learning these terms. The best they could do was to ask a swinger friend and hope they knew the answer!

I have been in the lifestyle for many years and I thought I was pretty well versed on swinger jargon. I was quite surprised when I went to look up a word I came across in an email and saw a list of words I had never heard before. My other surprise was that when I read some of the meanings, they did not mean the same things that I had known them to mean.

Here are some terms you might encounter and their usual definitions.  Please remember that everyone has different experiences so some people might have slightly different interpretations of terms. You should use this glossary more as a general guideline to give you a better idea of what a term means. When in doubt, just ask the person instead of assuming that you are both using the same exact definition for the swinger lingo & slang.

420Marijuana
AC/DCBisexual man or woman
AlphaDominant person; can be related to BDSM lifestyle or cuckold situations.
Back DoorAction involving the butt
BarebackSex without condoms
BBCBig black cock
BBWBig beautiful women, often very big.  A few pounds overweight would be curvy not BBW.
BDSMBondage, Domination/Discipline, Sadism, Masochism.  BDSM fetish tends to be less focused on sex & orgasms and focuses more on control & power.
Bi-curiousAny person that is open to experimenting with same-sex action.  It can also describe people that are willing to participate with same-sex action but are not primarily attracted to same sex action.
BottomMan that is on the receiving end of man/man action.
BukkakeMultiple men covering a woman’s face or body with all of their combined ejaculations.
BullThe dominant male in a cuckold situation.  The bull will have sex with the woman while the other man aka cuckold does not actively participate .
Can EntertainSwinger that is willing to host others for sexy times at their home/hotel/boat/wherever.
Can TravelSwinger that is willing to travel to meet other swingers for vanilla introductions and/or sexual encounters.
CDCross dresser, a man wearing lady’s clothing
CertsCertifications from other swingers that vouch for you. Each swinger site has a slightly different cert process but basically certs tell other people you are not a fake account and increases trustworthiness in your online swinger profile. Some swinger sites call them verifications.
CheatingPerson playing in the swinging lifestyle without permission from their significant other.  Not common but they do exist in the lifestyle.  Also applies to swingers who are not following the swinging rules they made with their significant other.
CleanRefers to someone claiming they are disease free and/or drug free.
Closed Door SwingingSwinging in separate rooms with the doors closed so you do not see your significant other.
Cock BlockingDoing something that sabotages a man close to having sexual play.  It can be someone accidentally ruining the sexy vibe or it can be a friend that intentionally does something to ruin the man’s chance of sexual fun.  In a general sense, it refers to anyone doing something that sabotages another person’s sexual success.
CompersionPositive and enjoyable feeling one experiences when their partner enjoys pleasure. The opposite of feeling jealousy.
ConsentVoluntary informed decision that is clearly communicated & can be revoked at anytime for any reason. When in doubt, ask & don’t assume.
CougarOlder, attractive, sexually liberated woman who favors younger men.
CPLCouple, can be married or dating.
CuckoldMan who likes to relinquish power to a bull/alpha male who will have sex with the cuckold’s partner while the cuckold is ignored or embarrassed.  Swinging is not the same as cuckolding.
CutUsually refers to circumcised men
CurvyA few extra pounds but not very overweight.  Being many pounds overweight would be BBW.
D&D or DDFDrug & disease free.
DesireSwinger friendly resort with two locations very close to Cancun, Mexico
DoggingOriginally a British concept of going to a public place like a highway rest stop to have sex with multiple strangers in your car.
Dom/DommeDom (dominant male) or Domme (dominant female).  These are people in the BDSM lifestyle that prefer to have control & power over submissive people aka subs.
DPDouble penetration, can be two things in one hole or two things in different holes of a person.
DramaRefers to any fighting, jealousy, insecurity, or any emotional hassle.  Everyone has a certain level of drama because humans are emotional beings & that is ok.  It becomes a problem when drama from one relationship isn’t managed and overflows into another relationship.
DVDouble vagina penetration, can be a sex toy & a man but usually it is two men using the same vagina at the same time.  Usually it also requires one man to not wear a condom because two condoms rubbing against each other tends to break them.
ExclusiveWhen people form a closed group that only has sex with people within the closed group. A couple could be exclusive with only themselves, another couple, or multiple people.
ExhibitionistPerson that enjoys performing sexual acts that can be observed by other people.
Fluid BondedPeople in an ongoing relationship who have unprotected sex with a closed group as a means of increasing intimacy and signifying trust.  Married couples are usually fluid bonded with each other.  It is possible, though not typically as safe, to be fluid bonded with multiple people.
FMF/FFMThreesome with female, male, and female.  The ordering of the letters implies who will play with each other.  FMF implies no bisexual female action, with the man in the middle.  FFM implies bisexual lady action.
FrenchRefers to heavy kissing or oral sex.
Full SwapSwingers that swap partners for penetrating sex.
FWBFriends with benefits.  Swingers that are looking to make social friends that also sexually interact.
Gang BangA woman having sex with many men who take turns with the woman. Group gangbangs often have about 3 to 6 men for each woman attending.
GenerousUsually used as code in online profiles or ads to imply money for sex.
Golden ShowerUrinating on someone who sexually enjoys it.  More commonly found in a BDSM setting.
GreekButt action.  Can refer to full sex or just finger play.  Similar to saying back door action.
Group RoomPlay room at swinger events where orgy action is often encouraged.  Very common for multiple people to be engaged in a chain of sexual action.  You should still ask for permission before engaging with someone in a group room
Hall PassPermission from a significant other to go out and play as a single person in the lifestyle
Hedo (Hedonism)Short for Hedonism II which is a popular swinger friendly resort in Jamaica for singles & couples.
HostThe party organizer who manages the rsvp list, prepares the space and handles any problems that might happen during the swinging event.
Hot WifeMarried woman who enjoys having sex with other men.  Hotwifing terminology can be used by people looking for a cuckold situation or a swinging situation. Often it implies just the wife will engage in sexual activity.
House PartySwinger party at a private house.  Can be a small or big, paid or free event.  There are usually designated play areas and non-play areas for pressure free socializing.
HungMan with above average equipment dangling between his legs. Average equipment size is around five inches long.  Everyone has a different opinion on what size (length and/or girth) qualifies as hung.
HWPHeight & weight proportionate.  Anyone in good shape.
IRLIn Real Life
ISOIn Search Of
KIKMobile phone app that allows you to communicate for free with an anonymous screen name.  You can share texts and pictures using the KIK app.  You can also create a shared group communication using KIK.
KinkAny sexual fetish. This includes anything like swinging, BDSM, cuckolding, role playing, and anything else. We all have different kink preferences & tolerances.
LifestyleA term that means different things to different people.  In general it is more of an umbrella term for different sexual lifestyles.  Swinging is a lifestyle and many swingers use the “lifestyle” term interchangeably but “lifestyle” can refer to a range of areas including nudism, BDSM, & fetish.
LSAbbreviation for lifestyle because it is too many letters for some people to spell out.
LTRLong Term Relationship
Marital AidsSex toys of any and all varieties
Meet & GreetSwinger event that is more of a social affair.  It is intended more to make a connection and that leads later to off premise play.
Ménage à troisThe fancy French way of saying a threesome where three people of any combination, temporarily join together to have a sexy playtime.
MFMThreesome with male, female, female.  Ordering of letters implies who will play with each other.  MFM implies there will be no bisexual play with the lady in the middle of the action. MMF implies there will be bisexual man play.
MFMFFoursome with two swinger couples aka wife swapping.
MilfMother I’d Love to F%*#, refers to women that are old enough to be a mother but hot looking enough that men are lusting over them.
MMFThreesome with male, male, female.  Ordering of letters implies the men will play with each other. MFM would imply no bisexual play.
MoresomeUsually refers to group play/orgy setting.
MunchA social gathering term that is more commonly used by people in the fetish world.  Similar to a meet & greet.  It is usually held at a public place to make connections with other like minded people and curious newcomers.  It is a no pressure opportunity for communication and physical activity is usually not allowed on site.
Mutual MasturbationSensually touching each other to orgasm without penetration.
NewbiesAny person relatively new and not very experienced to the lifestyle. Nothing wrong with being a newbie.
NMKNot My Kink. We all have different kinks and not everyone likes the same sexy things or to the same level.
NSANo Strings Attached.  Implies casual sex without any expectation of communication or follow-up afterwards.
Off PremiseSwinger events that do not allow physical play at the event.  They are social events to find  people to bring elsewhere for physical play.
On PremiseSwinger events that allow physical play at the event.  There are usually designated rooms for sexually interactions.
Open DoorRefers to same room swinging with an invitation for other people to join in.  If you see a playroom door kept open with people inside, you can politely ask if they want company.
Open MindedSome people use this phrase in their profile to mean they are welcoming of all people.  Other people use this phrase as code that the man is secretly bisexual since bisexual man are often frowned upon in the lifestyle.
Open RelationshipA relationship that allows the people in the relationship to see and be with other people.  This can include having sexual interactions or emotional attachments with other people
OrgyGroup sex play.  Even during orgy play, you still should ask for permission from each person before you play with them.  Just because someone is playing with other people does not give you permission to play with them without asking first.
Parallel PlayTwo couples having sex in the same room & physically interacting with only their own partner.
PlayAny level of sexy fun, from kissing to full sex.
PolyamoryMultiple people in a dedicated relationship. Each person involved in the polyamory relationship is honest & upfront with their partners about being a relationship with more than one person.  It can be a three person love triangle or more complex arrangement.  These relationships can be open or closed to others, & can be straight, gay, or any combo.
Roman PlayOrgy, group sex play.  Even during Roman play, you still should ask for permission from each person before you engage them.  Just because someone is playing with other people does not automatically give you permission to play with them.
Rope PlayA bondage fetish that involves binding someone using rope.  The rope and its knots can be formed into artistic displays.  Rope play does not necessarily lead to actual sex.  Some people prefer the act of binding or being bound more than actually having sex.
S&MS is sadism aka pleasure from inflicting pain and M is masochism aka pleasure from receiving pain.  People in S&M lifestyle often do not orgasm or have penetrative sex.  They often find more pleasure from giving or receiving pain.
Safe WordA pre-designated word or signal to communicate a person is no longer comfortable and wants to return to a safe place. Saying the safe word is equivalent to revoking consent and pushing an emergency stop button. Common in the BDSM community and will immediately stop all activity.
Same RoomsRefers to swinging couples that swap partners for sexually play within the same room. Can be one bed or separate beds but everyone remains in the same room.
SBFSingle black female
SBiFSingle bisexual female, a rare unicorn variety
SBiMSingle bisexual male
SBMSingle black male
Separate RoomsRefers to swinging couples that swap partners for sexually play in different rooms. The rooms can be in one building or separate locations.
SexA wide ranging term that usually means something different to each person.  You can have fun debating with your friends if masturbation, oral play or sexual touching is or is not sex. As long as it is consensual, relax and enjoy.
Sex-PositiveGeneral concept of viewing sex as a natural pleasure in life.  It is a non-judgmental approach that is accepting of different approaches to enjoying consensual sex among adults.  Sexual interactions are seen in a positive light and sexual repression is viewed negatively.
Shared WifeCan imply a polyamory relationship with the women having romantic connections with multiple men or can imply a women that casually plays with other men.
Ski SlopesUnless you are going to a ski resort, this is code for doing cocaine.  Regular cocaine use leads to erectile problems so it is not common for swingers but if you meet enough people you might encounter it.
SMSingle man. If it’s S/M that’s referring to BDSM fetish.
SnowUnless it is winter, this is code for cocaine.  See Ski Slopes.
SOSignificant Other, your spouse or long term partner.
SquirtingFemale ejaculation, which is surprisingly not rare in the swinging lifestyle.  Leaves a big wet spot and you will probably want to lay down a  towel before playing.  Frequent squirters in the lifestyle usually buy a Liberator sex blanket that is waterproof.
StagMale half of an open relationship couple. Focused more on proudly sharing & not submissive like a cuckold.
STI or STDSexually Transmitted Infection or Sexually Transmitted Disease. They basically mean the same thing (medical health issue) but technically are different (infections develop into diseases). For example HPV is an infection (STI) that can cause cervical cancer which is a disease (STD).
STR, STR8, StraightHeterosexual, a person that is not interested in experimenting with same sex play.
SubSubmissive person in the BDSM lifestyle.  A sub is happier when they are being controlled and directed by a dom or domme.
SWSingle woman aka a Unicorn.
SwapTemporarily exchanging partners for sexual activities that range from foreplay to full sex.  This can be in the same or separate rooms.
SWFSingle white female
SwingerAnyone that identifies themselves as a swinger.  You can decide your own play style and rules.  We aren’t going to judge.  Life is more fun when we are inclusive and welcoming of others.
SWMSingle white male
T-girlTransexual lady.  Someone born as a man but identifying and presenting as a woman.  She might be in the process of permanently changing gender.
TicketThe paid escort that someone hires so they can attend a swinger event that does not allow single men.  It is not common and is frowned upon.
TopMan that is giving the action in man/man play.
TSSomeone born as a man but dressing and/or acting like a woman.  She might be in the process of permanently changing gender.
TVSomeone born as a man but dressing and acting like a woman.  She might be in the process of permanently changing gender.
UnicornSingle female in the swinging lifestyle because they are rare.
V SafeMan who had a vasectomy.  Some people who are very vocal about being V safe are using this as code for open to bareback sex.  Many people are just referring to the extra precaution against pregnancy worries & not implying bareback sex.
VanillaNon-swinger world.  The rest of the world that is normal, conventional, plain.
VixenFemale half of an open relationship couple who is open to playing by herself or in front of her proud partner.
Water Sports (see Golden Showers)Urinating on someone who sexually enjoys it. This typically does not include ladies that involuntary squirt when they orgasm.
YKINMKYour Kink Is Not My Kink. A good reminder that we all have different kinks and sexual preferences. Life is nicer when we are respectful and non-judgmental towards people that might be different from ourselves

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